it's not dead nor alive

i thought i would leave this dead, but no, i couldnt resist today to make another post. im so damn sick on thriving in which understanding things and even people are out of reach. I'm really sick of myself not willing to do anything to further improve myself and making myself feel more about myself. What I want to do, is to take a train to town and back again, it'll do me hellava good.

Once i really start on my life, i want to concentrate, all the other things would be out of mind, theyll be. I would start tearing myself from the fantasy, and i really wanted to things the end it already.

and yes, i suppose ure not taking in or understanding whatever im typing from start of the read to the end, but right now my brain nerves, the neurons, the transmitters are covered by ten thousand eight hundred and seventy two things. basically, im sickly confused. and im sickly insecure, sickly paranoid, sickly irritable, sickly nauseous, sickly suicidal.

oh hell yes i've moved !