19.10

i just dunt know how i'm feeling right then, i couldnt put in place. At first it was just emptiness in me - slowly overcoming by stages of emotions. i couldnt talk or rather i dunt feel bldy want to talk then. I'm really sorry for that whole day for being extremely quiet even in my class. I really tried to get my mood back but it was futile, i ended up trying to nap in class.
it became alot worse when i'm in the hall.

i wonder when's my next time to take that road back to my home again. i'm not sure because if it's the presence of you people - so numb, so without emotions. but once i aboard 960 and took my seat, it was welling up so fully that it was a fierce battle to push it back.

just all the thoughts of not being able to see them in sch upset my feelings. i tried chill it off by watching tv, but why does it have fking advertisment - the time for my mind to drift...
i admit janice, it's useless to cheer up now, it's already well-ing. urhghs !
why am i always sooo weak.